11pm and I’m not ready for tomorrow’s presentation. FML
(At the fanciest restroom due to consuming too much cheap beer)
Friend: Man, you smell that?
Me: Yeah. Smells like……fish? Oh……wow. At a show? *looks around*
Friend: I don’t wanna know where it is.
Me: You’re stepping on it. Have fun wiping liquid shame off your doc martens.
With my hair down, and reverts to its thick curl state, I magically turn into a human poodle!
When it’s up
Packaged arrived. Bastards’ large.
- Store clerk: Hey! What do you think you're doing!?
- Red Guy: Butt-walking out the store.